I was rushing around today. Work, a quick lunch, a walk with a friend, emails, printing up posters, more work, making dinner in time to catch the sunset, nature time, more emails, baking a cake for a group tomorrow. I can't even say I was trying to stay present. What I was doing was trying to get things done and checking them off my list. My day was consumed by stuff- external stuff. Stuff that evokes reactions, stuff that keeps my breathing shallow, my steps quick and my head too full.
It's the stuff of daily life, the joys and sorrows, the stresses and rewards. It's exactly this stuff that seems to keep me away from myself. Yes I engage in life and have friendships, make time for nature and work toward goals. But what about time for myself? The walk with my friend, and a quiet dinner while watching the sunset were super pleasant, calming and grounding, but I was still ignoring myself, keeping my thoughts attached to external stimulus.
Nothing externally can provide lasting happiness. Everything will change, shift, and disappear in time. The one thing that we're left with, the one constant in our lives, is us. Ourselves. Me. I'm my secret to happiness. I'm my secret to joy. No matter where I travel, what great job I get, the fabulous boyfriend who makes me feel whole... they change, shift and disappear in time. We must look inside to find peace, awareness and love.
How? The answer is meditation. I wish I could say I'm an expert, but I'm not, and have a feeling I'll never be. However, on September 1st I committed to spending the month practicing meditation. I started with 5 minutes twice a day. Legs crossed, back straight, chin lowered, tongue relaxed, eyes closed and internal gaze soft. I looked for stillness and I found chaos. But slowly my mind quieted. 10 minutes twice a day. 15 minutes here and there. 30 minutes on a Wednesday evening. I was learning, my practice was helping, my mind was becoming quieter and I had glimpses of stillness and pure presence. I found comfort in my quiet time- I found a retreat, away from the noise of the day, my to-do list and moments of doubt that life breeds. I found that everything I needed was inside myself waiting to be discovered; that peace, contentedness and acceptance are found in the essence of simply being alive and still. The answer to everything seems to be right there inside ourselves nestled within the energy of life itself.
A truth that I've learned in the past year is that whatever you give yourself, there's a good chance you'll crave more. Whether it's food, stress, a good relationship, a bad relationship, a TV series, nature, rushing around, caring for your children- good or bad, you may get hooked on the habit and familiarity. And in all the daily events that happen, it's hard to accept a gift of the complete opposite- of nothing. But I urge you to give this gift to yourself. Take time for nothing. A nothing that means 'this, now'. Take time for no thought. Take time for no identity. And in this nothingness, there's a good chance you'll find just the answer to that something you were looking for.
It's the stuff of daily life, the joys and sorrows, the stresses and rewards. It's exactly this stuff that seems to keep me away from myself. Yes I engage in life and have friendships, make time for nature and work toward goals. But what about time for myself? The walk with my friend, and a quiet dinner while watching the sunset were super pleasant, calming and grounding, but I was still ignoring myself, keeping my thoughts attached to external stimulus.
Nothing externally can provide lasting happiness. Everything will change, shift, and disappear in time. The one thing that we're left with, the one constant in our lives, is us. Ourselves. Me. I'm my secret to happiness. I'm my secret to joy. No matter where I travel, what great job I get, the fabulous boyfriend who makes me feel whole... they change, shift and disappear in time. We must look inside to find peace, awareness and love.
How? The answer is meditation. I wish I could say I'm an expert, but I'm not, and have a feeling I'll never be. However, on September 1st I committed to spending the month practicing meditation. I started with 5 minutes twice a day. Legs crossed, back straight, chin lowered, tongue relaxed, eyes closed and internal gaze soft. I looked for stillness and I found chaos. But slowly my mind quieted. 10 minutes twice a day. 15 minutes here and there. 30 minutes on a Wednesday evening. I was learning, my practice was helping, my mind was becoming quieter and I had glimpses of stillness and pure presence. I found comfort in my quiet time- I found a retreat, away from the noise of the day, my to-do list and moments of doubt that life breeds. I found that everything I needed was inside myself waiting to be discovered; that peace, contentedness and acceptance are found in the essence of simply being alive and still. The answer to everything seems to be right there inside ourselves nestled within the energy of life itself.
A truth that I've learned in the past year is that whatever you give yourself, there's a good chance you'll crave more. Whether it's food, stress, a good relationship, a bad relationship, a TV series, nature, rushing around, caring for your children- good or bad, you may get hooked on the habit and familiarity. And in all the daily events that happen, it's hard to accept a gift of the complete opposite- of nothing. But I urge you to give this gift to yourself. Take time for nothing. A nothing that means 'this, now'. Take time for no thought. Take time for no identity. And in this nothingness, there's a good chance you'll find just the answer to that something you were looking for.