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Being Stuck- What I Have Learned from a Flower

10/13/2012

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It's hard to be anywhere but where you are. You can think yourself away, but your energy shows the truth, here and now. When life gets painful and hard, we can begin to feel stuck. How long will this last? Maybe this is my true nature. Life will always be difficult for me.

But like the clouds and the seasons, life is constantly changing- nothing stays the same for long. Energy and feelings that have been lingering can shift when you least expect them. Something positive and joyful can crumble in the blink of an eye. Something beautifully unexpected can come into your life and change it in an instant. The truth is, we have no idea what's in store for us. But you can bet that things will change. Learning to accept what life has put in our path will be our greatest challenge and our greatest gift.

When life gets tough, when we feel stuck, when there's an aching in our chest... just wait. Be patient and kind with yourself. Accept where you are at this moment, with these feelings, and go ahead and feel them. Giving in to our feelings and acknowledging them will bring on a shift sooner than ignoring them or distracting yourself. But sometimes it doesn't seem so easy.

So what does it mean to be stuck? To be stuck means you're not accepting reality. You're denying what life has given you. You're rejecting the truth. You're holding on to an idea of the way you think things should be.  How is being stuck serving you? Perhaps it's easier to not take responsibility for your life and assume that something else is making you feel this way. You're right- pain can come from many places and sometimes it's not our fault. Pain is not a choice, but suffering is. Being stuck is a choice. 

I love the picture above of the flower growing out of a rock. It reminds me that even in situations that lead to obvious conclusions, there's always an element of the unknown. Such is life when we feel stuck- the conclusions seem obvious- we're sad, lonely, frustrated, regretful. But when we accept what life has given us, we can find a way to grow and thrive. Like the flower, we may not be in a beautiful plot of rich soil as expected, but if we accept the cold hard rock which we've been placed on, our beauty will shine and life will flourish in a way we never could have expected.

So accept what you have and where you are. Make a choice today to stop being stuck, stop suffering. Have faith that all the good and all the bad are part of your journey, and stop longing for things to be different. The life which is in front of you is preparing you to shine if you work with it, not against it. 

The sooner we accept what is, the sooner we can shine brighter than ever before. 


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The Answer is Meditation

10/3/2012

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I was rushing around today. Work, a quick lunch, a walk with a friend, emails, printing up posters, more work, making dinner in time to catch the sunset, nature time, more emails, baking a cake for a group tomorrow. I can't even say I was trying to stay present. What I was doing was trying to get things done and checking them off my list. My day was consumed by stuff- external stuff. Stuff that evokes reactions, stuff that keeps my breathing shallow, my steps quick and my head too full. 

It's the stuff of daily life, the joys and sorrows, the stresses and rewards. It's exactly this stuff that seems to keep me away from myself. Yes I engage in life and have friendships, make time for nature and work toward goals. But what about time for myself? The walk with my friend, and a quiet dinner while watching the sunset were super pleasant, calming and grounding, but I was still ignoring myself, keeping my thoughts attached to external stimulus. 

Nothing externally can provide lasting happiness. Everything will change, shift, and disappear in time. The one thing that we're left with, the one constant in our lives, is us. Ourselves. Me. I'm my secret to happiness. I'm my secret to joy. No matter where I travel, what great job I get, the fabulous boyfriend who makes me feel whole... they change, shift and disappear in time. We must look inside to find peace, awareness and love. 

How? The answer is meditation. I wish I could say I'm an expert, but I'm not, and have a feeling I'll never be. However, on September 1st I committed to spending the month practicing meditation. I started with 5 minutes twice a day. Legs crossed, back straight, chin lowered, tongue relaxed, eyes closed and internal gaze soft. I looked for stillness and I found chaos. But slowly my mind quieted. 10 minutes twice a day. 15 minutes here and there. 30 minutes on a Wednesday evening. I was learning, my practice was helping, my mind was becoming quieter and I had glimpses of stillness and pure presence. I found comfort in my quiet time- I found a retreat, away from the noise of the day, my to-do list and moments of doubt that life breeds. I found that everything I needed was inside myself waiting to be discovered; that peace, contentedness and acceptance are found in the essence of simply being alive and still.  The answer to everything seems to be right there inside ourselves nestled within the energy of life itself.

A truth that I've learned in the past year is that whatever you give yourself, there's a good chance you'll crave more. Whether it's food, stress, a good relationship, a bad relationship, a TV series, nature, rushing around, caring for your children- good or bad, you may get hooked on the habit and familiarity. And in all the daily events that happen, it's hard to accept a gift of the complete opposite- of nothing. But I urge you to give this gift to yourself. Take time for nothing. A nothing that means 'this, now'. Take time for no thought. Take time for no identity. And in this nothingness, there's a good chance you'll find just the answer to that something you were looking for. 


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The Shift

9/24/2012

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A few days ago I spent 2 solitary hours at a local lake. I  walked quietly along the shore, observed the rainy mist and how it dulled the vibrant colours of the trees, and took time to just BE. The day was wet, but as a promise to myself earlier this month, I dressed for the weather and got myself out the door for my 30 minutes (2 hours) of nature. And boy was I rewarded. 

As I sat facing the trees on the other side of the lake, legs crossed, back straight, phone timer set for 15 minutes, meditation in progress, the word shift came into my head.  Perhaps it was the sudden realization of where I was and what I was doing that brought this word into my head. The fact that I hadn't gotten to where I was overnight, that the me who I was years ago would hardly recognize this new version of myself, that I personally had never planned any of this. I saw that the person whom I am today didn't come about from writing resolutions or committing to spiritual training. I didn't become a vegan because of movies I saw or books I read. And I didn't change my career to get a better paycheck. 

In fact, none of these things came about in an instant, or from the outside. They were the product of shifts- those moments of knowing that what you're doing now doesn't line up with who you'd like to be, the intuitive feeling of being drawn in a new direction for reasons you can't explain, a sense that there's more.

Change doesn't happen overnight (though of course it can!). Change happens when we shift- shift into a state of awareness, shift into listening to what our intuition tells us, shift into action. We don't always have to know why we're doing something, or how we'll complete it, and change doesn't have to happen in calculable segments. Change does however have to happen from the inside. It's not about checking something off your list, it's about shifting your life little by little to align with what's true for you, your knowing, your path. 

With subtle shifts, a new awareness, and the intention of growth, we can all become the people we'd once dreamed of being; become the people that only our deepest and quietest voice knows we're destined to become. 

Have trust in yourself. Have faith that your path will be revealed to you. Stay open and stay aware. Your shift will come if you invite it in. Welcome your shift. 

                                             "Many a false step was made by standing still." -fortune cookie 

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Spending Time in Nature

9/18/2012

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Some people say they don't like the 'outdoors'- camping, hiking, beach walks, swimming in a lake. This makes me wonder: how do some humans adapt so fully to their modern city habitat as to not crave the very thing we are most connected to- the Earth? It's dawned on me that people haven't so much adapted, which implies change and growth, but rather they've checked out, disconnected, lost a sense of what they are, of the interconnectedness of all life forms. 

Does this surprise me? No. 

The way we eat, work, vacation, socialize, exercise and live all point in the same direction. We're in the age of distraction and disconnection. So we must ask: how can we connect? 

The answer: nature. 

Nature- the trees and grass, beaches and lakes, city gardens, birds flying overhead, the colour of the autumn leaves. All of nature holds the secret of life. Nature lives and thrives- it does not question or see an alternate path. It is present and whole, lacking nothing. It is timeless and alive- no less alive than you or I. The same energy that creates a tree from a seed, is the same energy that brings life from a sperm and egg to a human. We all have a destiny- the pine-cone that becomes a tree, the egg that becomes an ostrich, or a hummingbird, the seed that blows with the wind to become a bright yellow dandelion. Who are we to think that our life force is different than the life force of a precious flower. We are one. 

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To sit by a tree and join it in its wholeness and presence is to be connected. To watch the sun set over the water is to know beauty. To listen to the language of sun basking seals is to know life. Nature holds the secrets, even if we have yet to realize them. Your energy is aligning with a deeper essence when you connect to all life. So much so that your body reacts and responds with increased health and vitality when in nature.

Nature is known to: 
  • reduce anxiety and depression
  • decrease stress
  • increase immunity 
  • reduce symptoms of ADD
  • contribute to faster recovery and less pain medication for the sick
  • increase creativity, problem solving and curiosity
  • increase disease fighting white blood cells
(Source: http://www.davidsuzuki.org/blogs/panther-lounge/2012/06/help-spread-the-word/)

So I ask you, imagine a world where we each took time in our day to sit and look out at the water, to stop at the flowering bush just to share in its timeless presence, to walk with our bare feet on the grass.  This nature will fill you up and help you heal. It will show you patience and attention if you let it. It will honour you as you honour it. We are nature and nature is us. 

I've recently taken up David Suzuki's 30x30 Challenge.  How about you? How about taking the next 30 days to spend 30 minutes a day in nature. Take pictures, revel in the beauty, share your experience with others and spread the love that nature gives. 

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